Things we had to say
by scholastik
Summary: Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go. Knowing me, Knowing you. It's the best I can do."


Title: Things we had to say

Author: scolastik

Beta: None. If I don't post it right away I would never do it.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: House/Stacy

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: House MD and its character don't belong to me. But for once the -no so great- title does.

Summary: "Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go. Knowing me, Knowing you. It's the best I can do."

N/A: Well this is dedicated to anyone feeling like crap tonight. And especially to someone who I hope would know I'm talking about her.

She couldn't recall how long she had sat on this bed. She had gone straight to it, even before going to her Hotel room's bathroom. Some people dealt with reality by becoming hyper-active, some others would just eat the content of their fridge, freezer, some will cry for hours. Her thing was doing nothing at all, letting the world go, for a little while. Metaphorically, she thought it was something like, getting the world to go on, without her, since she wasn't satisfied with it.

There had been screams. It wasn't like them, not like their usual crap. In their five years together they had really shout at one another only twice.

First time was also the night of their first date. He had said a few things about a patient suing a fellow doctor. In one sentence he had managed to make them both sound like the most stupid people on Earth, Stacy had laughed. Then he had added something about the lawyer being a bigger idiot than the two others. She happened to know him, her only bearable colleague. One word bringing another, the wine helping. They had ended up calling each other names in front of a crowded restaurant. It was the worst date she had ever had, including the one with a teeth-impaired, stuttering, boy who happened to be full of himself, back in high school. Somehow though, first impression hadn't been much of a downer given the fact she had moved in with him within the week. She smiled remembering this.

Second time was a way more bitter memory, it was the only time she had lost it after the surgery. For weeks she hadn't engaged in his angry attacks, about how wrong she had been. She had even encouraged it, thinking maybe if he got it out of his system, things will go back to more or less normal. Then there had been the Saywer's case. He knew it was special to her, he knew it, but he had kept pushing her buttons all week before. He had made her a long speech about how he was never gonna work again just before she went out of the apartment. She had forgotten her brief-case. She had notes at her office, it wouldn't have mattered, but she was upset and she had lost the case. It wasn't his fault, it was nobody's fault. Defense had a better file … But when he had attacked her about missing the beers he wanted as soon as she had been home. She hadn't been able to let things go. So she had snapped, letting her anger out. It had been nasty and she had promised herself to leave, if it ever happen again.

Maybe she was just looking for a pretext, maybe life was mocking her. That's what she had thought, when, less than a week later they have found themselves once again shouting at each other, with more bitterness, refrained cruelty even.

It has all started about what kind of music they should listen to, on their way to therapy. Wilson was almost always the one driving him. Just for this once she had been the one driving the car. And all of a sudden, they had found themselves picking up their last fight exactly where they had left it the week before. As if the week had just been a cease-fire, just a lull in the thunderstorm their life had become. It has been like one of this black and white, slow motion movie scene, Stacy was a part of the scene, she was shouting insults at him, telling him how much she resented him for what was happening between them, but she was also just a spectator. A stunned spectator contemplating the incredible violence that was now their life …

There was no need to try to remember all what they had said to one another. Truth was, looking back, she wondered how they managed not to fight like this during these five years. Which miracle had prevented them from killing one another? There was no point in trying to understand it though, it had stopped. Whatever cast or malediction it had been, it was long gone now, leaving behind two people too dazed to fight the urge to destroy one another.

She knew, as much as she wanted to, she would never be able to stop herself from answering, and she couldn't bear to contemplate their fall. Them, looking the words which would be best to describe how much they resented each other.

So she had just left. For her it was walking away to keep them from starting to hate each other. She knew he would never see this that way, but the things they had to say weren't worth killing each other.

She stood up, it was high time she came back to the world. A hotel room was as good a place as any to do this.


End file.
